Gratitude, Grief, and Enough Already: A Journey From Hiding to Healing

It’s getting really real.

Enough Already is almost here! Just in time to shop for the holidays. And as I get closer to launch day, I’ve been sitting with just how much this book holds. The grief, the healing, the becoming, and the truth I spent years hiding from.

This season feels like an invitation. For me, and for anyone who’s ever wondered if they were enough. And as we head into Thanksgiving weekend, I can’t help but reflect on what it means to hold all of this at once.

The book Enough Already: A Journey From Hiding to Healing

This Thanksgiving feels different. And in ways I can’t fully explain.

It’s our first one in Florida, and honestly, I feel like my body still hasn’t caught up.

The calendar says late November, but the weather says June.

The sun is warm, the air smells like the ocean, and everything in me keeps waiting for the familiar reminders of home.. the cold air, the gray sky, the way Wisconsin slows down this time of year.

Instead, it’s bright. Warm. Almost confusing. But not complaining. ;)

And honestly maybe that’s exactly why this week feels different. I’m living in a completely new season, in a place my nervous system hasn’t learned to call home yet, while carrying memories from a past life that shaped me into who I am.

Because Thanksgiving isn’t just a holiday for me, it’s more of a marker. A reminder.

A time where grief and gratitude sit at the same table. For so many of us.

But for me, it was one of the last holidays I spent with Gavyn, and that truth always returns with the same intensity, no matter how many years pass or how far we move. He loved food and family and we always loved having everyone at our house to celebrate so it’ll be weird to not do that this year.

I’m learning that healing doesn’t erase our memory but it seems to honor it. And even here, with the palm trees and sunshine and a new season of life unfolding, that part of my heart travels with me. No matter where we go.

This year is especially emotional because in just a couple of weeks on December 11, will be my 12-year anniversary in recovery.. and the day I will officially release Enough Already: A Journey From Hiding To Healing into the world. A book that holds everything I once hid. The ache, the joy, the mistakes, the miracles, the guilt, the resilience, the truth, and the people who shaped me… especially the ones I’ve lost.

Writing this book meant going back to the parts of myself I had abandoned.

It meant sitting with impossible grief.

It meant telling stories that hurt to remember and healing through sharing them.

It meant giving my past a voice so I could finally move forward.

And here, in this strange Florida “winter,” surrounded by sunshine instead of snow, I’m learning that gratitude doesn’t always feel light.

Sometimes gratitude hurts.

Sometimes it’s layered with the memory of who you were sitting beside last year, or five years ago, or in the life you used to live.

But grief and gratitude are not enemies.

They are companions. They teach us that we can love what we lost and still be grateful for what remains. And even what’s becoming.

Photo by: @anthony.clicks

So what am I grateful for this season?

My family. Especially my parents.

I wouldn't be here today without them.

The people I’ve loved. Here and gone.

The chance to start over somewhere new.

The courage to tell the truth, even when it scares the hell out of me.

My son, who gives my life direction and purpose.

My partner, who holds space for every version of me.

My recovery, which saved my life in more ways than I can count.

The healing that took years longer than I expected.

For the little Nadine I used to be. The one who held on long enough to become the woman writing these words today.

And I'm especially grateful for this new Florida chapter, even if it feels weird, warm, unfamiliar, and even a little out of rhythm.

Because maybe that’s what becoming looks like. Stepping into things that don’t make sense yet, while carrying the parts of yourself that still matter most.

If this season feels heavy or complicated for you too, I hope you know this…

You’re allowed to hold grief and gratitude at the same time.

You’re allowed to miss people you’ll never stop loving.

You’re allowed to embrace change even when it feels strange.

You’re allowed to love your life and still feel the ache of what shaped who you are today.

That’s what healing is.

That’s the truth behind Enough Already.

And that’s the truth of this first Florida Thanksgiving. An unfamiliar, warm, heavy, yet hopeful, experience in its own way.

Thank you for being here through all of it.

For reading my words.

For walking this journey with me.

For holding space for memory, grief, gratitude, and change.

I hope wherever you are, you feel a little more seen, a little more understood, and a little more ENOUGH Already.

With love and so much gratitude,

NM